


Tenderness is the greatest cruelty

by Dorminchu



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, The End of Evangelion
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Humor, Bickering, Choking, End of Evangelion, Gen, Inspired by Music, Unsettling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 05:56:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14013657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorminchu/pseuds/Dorminchu
Summary: Shinji wakes on the beach next to Asuka; what happens next may surprise you….Or; the literal End of Evangelion.





	Tenderness is the greatest cruelty

The wind was dead and the overwhelming stench of afterbirth and copper permeated the air to an unnatural extent.

He opened his eyes and tasted grit. Sand, salt.

The ocean. Rust-colored water lapped at him, staining his school-uniform.

Shinji inhaled, exhaled, in time with the tide, until his head stopped spinning, until he could breathe again. Above him, the moon. A thick red line scored across the horizon, reminding him of an open wound on pale flesh.

A giant, pale body with Rei's face, Kaworu meshed together at the torso seamlessly. Beheaded, melting, an expression of shock upon the features, devoid of blame.

He was shaking. But not alone. The splash caught his attention and he swiveled to look.

A girl stood alone in — no, _on —_ the wake of the waves, regarding him. He recognized her without really understanding who or what she was, but he didn't need to. When he blinked she had vanished.

Alone again.

But then he remembered, he really wasn't alone at all. On the sand there was another body, just like him.

Asuka. Not torn apart, bleeding and screaming wrath towards her enemies over the intercom. She laid there as though asleep or already dead. The only indication of life came from the subtle rise-and-fall of her chest.

Sitting up, he could hardly believe she was really there. Her right arm was bandaged. A patch covered her eye.

Then it really was her.

She would remember him.

She would hate him, for sure. Not that he blamed her. Sitting on his knees, he lowered his hands to her neck. And squeezed.

It was difficult, even when she remained limp and unprotesting. But as seconds passed and she didn't stir, he squeezed harder, as hard as he could. All his anger and other unresolved, uncomfortable emotions came back to him in a vicious rush.

 _You're so selfish. I bet when you wake up you'll just fight me again_ — in his head, her voice accompanied — "Of course I'd be stuck with you, Ikari." _Well, fuck you, I hope you die._

(But he'd already seen into her mind, the worms and the anguish frozen upon her corpse's features. He could still hear her begging from the cockpit for someone, anyone, to help her. Within the bounds of Instrumentality, there had come the impression of EVA Unit 02 as the prototypes tore it apart like carrion, spilling its insides, and he had felt every iota of fear, every scrap of unending agony she did.)

He squeezed until his wrists and fingers were taut, sore with overexertion. He squeezed her throat until he felt the walls compress.

And then Asuka raised her arm, touched his face _—_ just for a moment, she was weak _—_ and her arm fell back limp against the sand. She wasn't really looking at him, but over his shoulder.

To his surprise he felt his own throat tighten, tears coming into his eyes too fast, even as he blinked them away. He began to tremble, and eventually slackened his grip on her neck and doubled over, weeping freely.

A few tears rolled down his face and impacted her cheek. He shuddered into some semblance of composure, nose clogged with snot.

Asuka glanced down at the sorry sight of him curled over her, a boy caught in wrongdoing.

She exhaled, and muttered: "How disgusting."

Shinji snuffled again. He'd meant to snort, pretend indifference. There was no pretending anymore.

He wiped his nose with his hand. He wouldn't look at her or the bruises he'd left.

In time she sat up, gingerly, winced when she put pressure on her bandaged arm. Shinji thought about helping her, but he didn't want to get reprimanded again; never mind the fact he deserved all of it, and more. She looked around the skeleton beach, as relaxed as he'd ever seen her.

"Sorry," he mumbled thickly. Might as well try and break the ice.

Asuka grunted. "You don't have to lie, Ikari."

She didn't sound angry. That was far more upsetting.

"Okay," he said, sniffing again, petulant. "Then I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry at all. You're a selfish bitch, and I hate that I'm stuck here with you again."

Asuka's one good eye was shining with the same callous amusement she'd display when in class, an object of affection from the boys. "See, you _are_ learning to stand up for yourself. But you're still terrible at lying. I guess it's one step at a time, huh."

Shinji was tired of fighting. The urge to hurt her was disproportionate to his own self-loathing.

"Are you the only one that came back?" he asked, not looking at her, but over the red water, towards the corpse of Lilith.

"How should I know?" she grumbled. There was a flicker of the Asuka he remembered; argumentative, brash. But she was subdued, more annoyed than anything. "And are you going to explain what the hell _that_ is?" She pointed over to the white face looming in the ocean, trapped in a perpetual, stunned smile.

_Kaworu?_

Shinji's throat went tight again. He tried to swallow and felt bile rise up instead.

"Jesus, look at you," Asuka said coolly. "It's dead, it can't do anything to us."

"I don't know how to explain it, okay?" he snapped, lying through his teeth. "Leave me alone."

She really did laugh this time. "Oh my God, are you serious? You won't answer any of my questions, but you'll ignore me? You really haven't changed at all."

Shinji didn't answer. She poked him hard in the shoulder, lacking aggression in favor of simple curiosity. "Oi, Ikari. What happens next? What about everyone else?"

"I guess we'll just have to sit here and find out," he mumbled.

"Psh. You're so boring," Asuka said. "The world could be ending and all you want to do is sit there. Where's your sense of urgency?"

"I don't know." He stood up, tired of sitting. Asuka lounged about, unperturbed. "How's your eye?" he asked, unable to help it any longer.

She threw him a funny look, like even she was surprised. "I can still see, can't I? I'll just have to manage. It doesn't feel like anything's there," she added, thumbing the patch 'til it dented; Shinji felt the bile rescind with a vengeance and quickly averted his eyes even as Asuka grinned. "Jeez. You're such a baby sometimes."

"Yeah, well. I guess the bandages wouldn't fit over your fat head."

"Hahaha. See, you get it!" she snorted, in the same tone one might administer towards a child's drawing to be hung on the fridge. Shinji found himself relaxing in spite of himself.

"Sure, I guess."

Asuka frowned.

"So will they all come back? Ms. Katsuragi, and _—_ "

"The others?" Shinji finished preemptively. "I guess we'll have to find out."

"Hmph," said Asuka, but she didn't protest further.


End file.
